As I type this, I hear the sounds of Aaediin screaming...Within each scream I hear "Wow, wow, wow"..."Momma"...and babble. He's basically fighting what I need for him to do--Take his nap. Note: I put him to bed at 12:15pm. He didn't go to sleep, destroyed the bedroom, and somehow made his way out of the bed, slowly crawling and screaming toward me. I notice he has a dirty diaper, and I question myself, "Was this about the diaper?", "Was it because he was forced to do something that he necessarily did not want to do at the time?", "Was it that he wanted to be near me to feel comfortable?", or "Did he just tire himself out during the tantrum?". I wish I knew the answer, and just like other mom's with kids with disabilities, especially those affecting them neurologically, we struggle to completely understand and often too, along with the child, get frustrated, defeated, and feel incompetent.
Though Aaediin has provisional autism (mild), he still struggles with communication issues. It often confuses the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks out of me. As a parent, I often times have to sit and observe and try to put the pieces of the puzzle together, regardless if the puzzle pieces are missing. It's now 2:35, the screams went from screams to babbles to sniffling to sighs to SLEEP.
I know it's been like a million years since I blogged, but a lot has gone on during the past month to two (2) months. Some things are left out to protect the interest of myself and/or others.
FLASHBACKS:
August 23rd - The past 4 years of my life was wiped away from me, and true STRUGGLE began. I never understood the meaning of that word til this date. I thought being a single mom was the definition of STRUGGLE til I experience this date and event. I wanted to throw a tantrum just like Aaediin but was so mentally exhausted, I just passed up the opportunity.
Sept 16th - Psi, my oldest child, only daughter, turned 5 years old.
Sept 20th - We visited a friend of mine. This visit changed me in so many ways. You'd think I went off to an island of isolation, but it was, in a sense, pretty close to the island of isolation (minus the palm trees, sand, and water). It changed my view on life, practices, parenthood, my depression. Struggle became NON-EXISTENT from that date, and just a word that exists in the dictionary.
Sept 28th - Psi started school, and is recognized as the smartest in her class. (1.5 month behind schedule and completely home-schooled by me, and comes out on top) - See, we stay-at-home moms do other things than watch soap operas.
Oct 9th - We went to the Early Intervention county site here in Georgia.. It's called Baby's Can't Wait...to try to get Aaediin ready to transition to school on March 19th (his 3rd birthday).
So, during this time, I've been dealing with the "terrible 2" tantrums. I unsure if it's the PDD-NOS or the fact that Aaediin has developed a bit more of his personality. This behavior issue hit me around the time of the 23rd of August. Now he's into everything. I mean everything, and when things aren't the Aaediin way, he gives it to me - a drop to the floor, kick and scream, and babbles/coos.
Now, I continue to ponder as to what to do to get him to understand that "NO MEANS NO", "DOORS ARE OFTEN MADE FOR OPENING, BUT MAINLY MADE TO STAY CLOSED" - He loves opening doors, and "STOP CRYING/BE QUIET". I'm also trying to instill a sense of discipline within Aaediin because I care so much about his well-being. I cannot be with him 24-7. I try to teach him, but he listens when he wants, and responds the same way during the process- usually - with a tantrum which brings me to think about the old me. When I'd be a the mall or grocery store, I'd see kids often time fall out to the floor, scream, and yell... I'd respond within my head, "Oh, that mother needs to find a way to discipline that child."...Now that I'm going through the same thing, I wonder how many of those kids suffered from a disability of some sort.
Well, in the meantime, I guess I'll be pondering all of the questions I've asked, including what the best methods are to handle Aaediin and these brief but horrendous temper tantrums. Now that he's sleeping, I guess I can continue doing all of the many things to do, and that includes homework.
Tomorrow we have an 11:30 with the Babies Can't Wait Coach. I'll post details all about it. Hopefully it'll be smooth sailing and TANTRUM FREE.. :)
-@ 3:24 pm EST
-@ 3:24 pm EST
<3 - Je'Kendra*
If you're a parent with a child with a disability of some sort with a blog, please don't hesitate to contact me, follow me, and/or send me your link to your blog! :)
